Bugs are objectively the funniest creatures on the planet and I will not be taking questions on this. Something about having six legs and a thorax just makes everything funnier. I’ve been collecting bug puns for an embarrassing amount of time now, and honestly some of these are so bad they’ve circled back around to good. Others never made it back around.
1. The Classic Opener
Don’t bug me.
Yeah, we’re starting there. Had to get it out of the way like clearing your throat before a speech. It’s the “Hello, World!” of bug puns.
2. Shakespeare, But Worse
To bee or not to bee, that is the question.
3.
Why did the bee get married? He finally found his honey.
This one’s cute enough to put on a wedding card if you’re marrying an entomologist. Or if you just have no shame. Both valid.
4.
What’s a bee’s favorite hairstyle? A buzz cut.
5. Rapid Fire Bee Round
- Let’s bee friends forever.
- I’m so glad we could bee here together.
- You’re the bee’s knees!
I know, I know. Three bee/be swaps in a row. Lazy? Maybe. But sometimes you just gotta let the bees out of the bag. That’s not a saying. I’m moving on.
6.
I told my coworker I was just buzzing with excitement about the team meeting and she looked at me like I’d lost my mind. Fair.
7.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe-bee.
8. The One I’m Actually Proud Of
What do you call a bee that produces milk instead of honey? A boo-bee.
Okay WAIT, I realize how that sounds. I mean the bird. The booby. It’s a bird. Google it. Actually don’t google “booby” at work. You know what, let’s just move to ants.
9.
What do you call a sophisticated ant? Eleg-ant.
This is genuinely one of my favorites. It’s clean, it’s tight, it works on paper AND out loud. The perfect pun doesn’t exi,
10.
Don’t be so ant-agonistic!
11.
I’m feeling a bit ant-sy today.
(Instagram caption material right here. Post a photo of yourself looking restless at a coffee shop. You’re welcome.)
12. The Obscure One That Only Bio Nerds Will Get
What do you call an ant that lives in a church? A sacrist-ant.
If you knew what a sacristan was without googling it, congratulations, you’re either Catholic or you do crossword puzzles. Possibly both.
13.
Why did the ant get bad grades? Because he was always absent.
…get it? Absent? Ab-sent? This one’s a stretch and I’m not gonna pretend otherwise. I heard it from a seven-year-old and felt obligated to include it.
14.
It’s a bug-eat-bug world out there.
15. Spider Section (They’re Not Technically Bugs But Nobody Cares)
What’s a spider’s favorite website? The World Wide Web.
Yes, this pun is from 1997. Yes, it still works. Spiders invented the internet and I have no evidence for this claim.
16.
Don’t get caught in a web of lies.
17.
“I’ve got a spidey sense about this,” I said to my friend while pointing at a suspicious-looking restaurant. The health inspector found six violations. My spidey sense was right.
18.
Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied ‘er.
This is genuinely old English music hall humor and I adore it. The kind of joke your great-great-grandmother might’ve told. Probably killed at pubs in 1890. Still holds up, tbh.
19. Time Flies
Time flies when you’re having fun.
Time also flies when you’re writing a pun list at 1 AM and suddenly it’s 3 AM and you’ve got 47 tabs open about beetle taxonomy.
20.
There’s a fly in the ointment.
21.
I’m just gonna wing it.
Send this to your group chat before any exam. Universal application. Works for bugs, birds, planes, and your general approach to life.
22. The Butterfly Block
What did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? “You’ve changed.”
This one has layers. It’s funny, it’s a little sad, it’s kinda about growing apart from people. I didn’t come here for existential depth but here we are.
23.
I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.
24.
Don’t flutter my heart like that!
Another Instagram caption contender. Post it with a blurry photo of a butterfly you took at the botanical garden. Engagement through the roof. Probably.
25.
What do you call a butterfly that’s good at math? A math-erfly.
This is bad. This is really bad. I’m including it because I committed to a number and I’m not a quitter.
26.
Side note, has anyone else noticed that “caterpillar” has “cat” right there in the name? Like they’re tiny fuzzy cats that turn into something beautiful? I’m just a little cat-erpillar. Anyway.
27. Cricket, But Not the Sport (Okay, Also the Sport)
Why did the cricket stop playing? He got stumped.
This works on TWO levels if you know cricket (the sport). “Stumped” is an actual way to get out. If you don’t follow cricket, it’s still fine. If you do follow cricket, you’re nodding right now. I see you.
28.
That’s just not cricket!
29.
What do you call a grasshopper who’s a good singer? A hop-era star.
30.
Let’s hop to it!
31. One of My All-Time Favorites
What do you call a ladybug who’s a great dancer? A jitterbug.
I love this pun so much. “Jitterbug” is already a real word for a real dance AND it has “bug” right in it. It’s like the wordplay was just sitting there for millions of years waiting for someone to connect it. Nature intended this joke. I’m convinced.
32.
Feeling lucky, ladybug? 🐞
(Text this to someone you have a crush on. I dare you. Report back.)
33.
What do you call a cockroach who’s a good singer? A roach star.
34. The Mosquito Corner Nobody Asked For
I’m feeling a little bit-ten.
Mosquitoes are the worst creatures on Earth and they don’t deserve puns but here I am giving them free publicity anyway.
35.
Don’t let the bed bugs bite!
36.
What do you call a mosquito in a tiny car? A compact bloodsucker. This one’s not even a pun really, it’s just… descriptive. I’m sorry.
37. The Flea Market
Why did the flea run away? He wanted to flee the scene.
Flea/flee is RIGHT THERE. English is a gift sometimes.
38.
I’m feeling a little flea-ky.
39. Tick Tock
- What do you call a tick that’s always on time? A tick-tock.
- That really ticks me off!
Two-for-one tick deal. Like finding a BOGO at the pharmacy for tick repellent. Which, if you live anywhere near woods, you know is basically gold.
40.
Don’t be such a gnat-ural pest.
41.
It’s gnat gonna happen.
Ngl, the gnat puns are weak because “gnat” has a silent G and that makes everything harder. I respect the hustle of anyone who pulls off a good gnat pun.
42. Worm Territory
What do you call a worm with a good book? A bookworm.
43.
The early bird catches the worm.
44.
Don’t open that can of worms!
45.
I’m feeling worm and fuzzy inside.
Look, “worm” and “warm” are close enough. If you squint with your ears. Is that a thing? It’s a thing now.
46. The Beetle Moment
What’s a beetle’s favorite band? The Beatles.
Fun fact that I’m including because this is my blog and I can: John Lennon specifically chose the spelling “Beatles” as a pun on “beat” music and “beetles.” So technically the Beatles made this pun first. In like 1960. I’m just the messenger.
47.
I’m feeling pretty beat-le today.
48. The Moth Joke That Actually Slaps
Why did the moth fly to the light? It was drawn to it.
“Drawn” as in attracted. “Drawn” as in sketched. This pun has VISUAL art implications and I think it’s underrated. Someone paint a moth being drawn to a lamp. As in, paint a drawing of it. You see what I mean? The layers!
49.
Don’t be a moth-er about it.
Yeah this one’s garbage. Moving on.
50. The Snail Trilogy
Why did the snail cross the road? To get to the Shell station.
I’m moving at a snail’s pace.
Don’t be so shell-fish!
(Snails aren’t bugs either. At this point the definition of “bug” in this post is “anything small that grosses out your aunt Linda.”)
51.
Why did the termite get fired? He kept terminating the wood.
Termite. Terminate. Come on. That’s clean.
52. The Grub Hub
I’m feeling a bit grub-by.
Let’s get some grub!
53.
What do you call a wasp that starts a company? A buzz-ness owner.
54.
Don’t be such a wasp-y person.
This also works as a class commentary if you spell it WASPy. Layers again. I’m full of layers today. Like a cocoon.
55. For the Entomology Nerds
What’s a bug’s favorite subject in school? Ento-mology.
This only works if you already know the word “entomology” which means the study of insects. If you didn’t know that, now you do, and you’re welcome for the SAT prep buried inside a pun blog.
56. The Centipede Situation
What do you call a centipede who’s a great dancer? A hundred-stepper.
My friend once told me she had “a lot on her feet” and I said “what are you, a centipede?” and she didn’t laugh. We’re still friends but she brings it up at parties as evidence that I’m insufferable.
57.
What did the larva say to the volcano? You’re lava-ly!
Larva. Lava. ONE LETTER APART. This pun was cosmically ordained.
58. The Deep Cut
What do you call a praying mantis who loves romance? A romantic mantis.
Extra dark if you know that female praying mantises eat the male’s head after mating. Romance!
59. The Instagram Caption You Didn’t Know You Needed
I’ve got a bug in the system. 🐛💻
Works for: selfies at your desk, photos of actual bugs on your laptop, screenshots of code that won’t compile, or just any Monday.
60.
This whole situation is quite insect-ing.
Insect-ing. Interesting. Kinda works if you say it fast. Kinda doesn’t if you think about it. Don’t think about it.
61.
I’ve got a lot on my plate. Well, a lot on my exoskeleton.
Okay that’s not even a pun, that’s just me being weird. Including it anyway because I make the rules here.
62.
Don’t let the bugs get you down.
63. The Absolute Stretch
What do you call a firefly who works in finance? A glowing investment.
I made that one up five minutes ago and honestly? I’m not mad at it. Fireflies deserve more pun representation. They’re out there literally glowing and we ignore them for bees. Unfair.
64.
Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.
“Nit” as in the egg of a louse. Most people don’t know that’s where this phrase comes from. Now you’ll think about head lice every time someone says it in a meeting. You’re welcome.
65.
I’m just trying to make ants meet.
Ends meet. Ants meet. This is the kind of pun where I typed it, stared at it for thirty seconds, whispered “that’s terrible,” and hit save.
66.
What do you call a sophisticated beetle who solves crimes? An investi-gator? No wait, that’s reptiles. An investi-grub? Nope. I’ll come back to this one.
(I’m not coming back to this one.)
67. The Cicada Special
You haven’t heard from me in 17 years but I’m back and I’m LOUD.
This only works if you know that periodical cicadas emerge every 13 or 17 years. If you lived through Brood XIX or Brood XIII, you don’t need the explanation, you can still hear them.
Alright, I think we’re done here. Or as a dung beetle would say: that’s a wrap on this crap.