Aliens are just inherently funny to me. Maybe it’s the big eyes, maybe it’s the fact that we’ve collectively decided they’re green with zero evidence, but something about extraterrestrial life makes for incredible wordplay. I’ve been sitting on some of these for weeks and a few of them are so bad I considered deleting them, but here we are.
1. The Classic Opener
That alien’s fashion sense is out of this world, which, yeah, technically accurate.
2. Quick math
What do you call an alien who’s really good at math? An add-stronomer.
(I’m not proud of this one but it’s staying.)
3.
Don’t alienate your friends. Seriously. They might abduct you from the group chat.
4. The Snack Cluster
- What’s an alien’s favorite candy? Milky Ways.
- What do they dip them in? Space chips and cosmic salsa.
- And for dessert? Celestial buns. (The alien opened a whole bakery for these. Respect the hustle.)
5.
I need to planet my day better.
6.
My alien friend is a stellar conversationalist, but honestly he keeps going on about the Fermi Paradox and I stopped listening twenty minutes ago.
7. One for the group chat
I’m feeling a bit spacey today 🛸
That’s it. That’s the text. Send it to someone right now.
8.
Why did the alien cross the road? To get to the other sidereal.
(If you don’t know what sidereal means, congrats, you had a normal childhood and didn’t read astronomy textbooks for fun. It relates to star-based time measurement. Anyway.)
9.
What do you call a lazy alien? An extra-terrestri-rest-rial. Yeah I know. I KNOW. Moving on.
10. Actually proud of this one
I told my coworker I was writing alien puns and she said “that sounds like a waste of space.” She didn’t even realize she’d done it. I’ve never been more delighted by an accidental burn in my life. I wrote it on a sticky note and put it on my monitor. It lives there now.
11.
What’s an alien’s favorite social media platform? MySpace.
Tom from MySpace is somewhere smiling and he doesn’t know why.
12.
My alien neighbor is a real star. Literally radiating energy at all hours.
13.
Why did the alien break up with the asteroid? Too much turbulence. Said the relationship had no atmosphere.
14. The gardening one
What do you call an alien who likes to garden? A planet enthusiast.
15.
UFO what I mean?
(Instagram caption. You’re welcome.)
16.
I asked an alien what their favorite key on the keyboard was. They said the space bar. I asked them to leave my house.
17.
That alien’s story was truly universal.
18. Okay this is a stretch but hear me out
What do you call an alien’s autobiography? An unidentified flying opus. I’m reaching. I can feel it. But there’s something there and I refuse to abandon it.
19.
Why was the alien bad at relationships? He needed too much space.
20. The Music Round
- What’s an alien’s favorite type of music? Neptunes.
- Favorite band? The Grateful Dead (Stars)
- Favorite song? “Fly Me to the Moon”, but they take it literally.
21.
My alien friend is always orbiting around new ideas but never actually lands on one.
22.
Don’t be so Martian about it, try to be more Venus-ble.
Okay that one is genuinely terrible. I’m sorry. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever written and I once submitted a pun about cheese to a newspaper contest and lost to a nine-year-old.
23. For the sci-fi nerds
What did the xenomorph say to the facehugger? “You really grow on people.” If you’ve seen Alien (1979, Ridley Scott, absolute masterpiece, not up for debate), this one hits different. The whole lifecycle is basically the universe’s worst surprise party.
24.
I’m having a cosmic day. Everything just feels… vast.
25.
Why did the alien go to school? To improve his english, he was tired of speaking in tongues. And by tongues I mean whatever frequency they use. Honestly we don’t talk about alien linguistics enough.
26.
Aliens don’t use phones. They prefer to comet-nicate.
27. THIS ONE. This is my favorite.
What do you call an alien standing in a courthouse? An illegal alien with legal representation.
The double meaning is doing SO much work here. “Alien” in both the immigration law sense and the extraterrestrial sense and somehow it lands perfectly. I workshopped this for three days. Three days! My partner asked if I was okay. I said “I’m fine, I’m just thinking about jurisdiction across planetary systems.” They did not follow up.
28.
Alien pickup line: “Are you from Earth? Because you’re outta this world to me.”
29.
Why don’t aliens eat clowns? They taste funny.
(Yeah this is just a regular joke with an alien swapped in. Sue me.)
30. Quick tangent
It’s wild how many alien puns are just space puns with a trench coat on. Like, half the time the wordplay is about planets or stars and the alien is just… there. Vibing. I’m trying to give the aliens themselves more credit here. They deserve puns about THEM, not just their commute.
31.
What do you call an alien’s dog? A subwoofer from another dimension.
Nah, that doesn’t work. I’m keeping it anyway.
32.
The alien said Earth food was “meteor-cre” at best.
33.
I tried to make first contact but got left on read. Guess I was ghosted by a being from the spectral dimension.
34. Niche alert, this one’s for the Octavia Butler fans
The Oankali from Dawn don’t do puns. They gene-rally prefer to splice their humor differently. (If you know, you know. If you don’t, go read the Lilith’s Brood trilogy immediately. I’ll wait.)
35.
Why did the alien get promoted? He was an over-a-Charon-ver. (Charon is Pluto’s moon. This pun is a war crime. I accept my sentencing.)
36.
“I told my alien friend a joke about black holes.”
“And?”
“It sucked him right in.”
37.
What does an alien wear to a formal event? A space suit and tie.
38. Another personal favorite
Aliens visiting Earth is basically just interstellar Yelp reviewing. “Atmosphere: breathable but polluted. Locals: hostile but entertaining. Cuisine: surprisingly diverse. Would not return. 2/5 stars (and they don’t even have that many).”
The pun is in “stars” and I will not apologize for burying it.
39.
You crater believe how many puns I’ve written today.
40.
What’s an alien’s blood type? B-positive about intergalactic travel. (Type O-rion negative was the other option. I couldn’t decide. You get both.)
41.
That alien probe was really invasive. Talk about a breach of space.
42. The Deep Cut
Why do grey aliens make terrible DJs? Because they can only play tracks at 33 RPM on their Zeta Reticuli-cord players.
If you got that, if you actually know Zeta Reticuli from the Betty and Barney Hill abduction case, we should be friends. Genuinely. DM me.
43.
Aliens don’t do well on dating apps. Their bios always say “looking for something out of this world” and it comes off as high maintenance.
44.
I’m not saying my cat is an alien, but she stares at walls, communicates in frequencies I can’t understand, and clearly views me as a lesser species.
45. Caption-ready
Take me to your leader 👽✨
(Basic? Yes. Effective? Also yes.)
46.
What do aliens use to organize their files? A flying saucer-tary system.
47.
The alien comedian’s set was light-years ahead of everyone else’s.
48.
Why do aliens never win at hide and seek? They always get spotted, big green guys in a cornfield aren’t exactly subtle.
49. Rapid fire round
- Alien weather forecast: cloudy with a chance of meteor showers
- Alien real estate: “great location, universal appeal”
- Alien résumé skill: “abduction to detail”
That last one. THAT LAST ONE. Abduction to detail. I’m gonna get that tattooed. (I’m not gonna get that tattooed.)
50.
Why did the alien fail his driving test? He kept doing U-FO turns.
51.
My alien friend said Earth is just a phase. I said, “like the moon?” He did not laugh. Tbh I don’t think they have the same concept of humor on Kepler-442b.
52.
“You look green.”
“I’m an alien.”
“Still. Get some rest.”
53.
Aliens watching humans try to contact them with radio signals is basically the equivalent of someone sending a fax in 2026. The thought counts, but the execution is cosmically embarrassing.
54. For the astrobiology crowd
What did the extremophile say when it found life on Europa? “I knew there was something under the surface.” This works on like four levels if you know about subsurface oceans and I will not be explaining further.
55.
Gravity is such a downer. Aliens probably think so too.
56.
What’s an alien’s favorite game? Rocket league. Wait, that’s just a real game. Does it still count? I’m counting it.
57.
An alien walked into a bar. The bartender said, “we don’t serve your kind here.” The alien said, “that’s fine, I’m looking for the Milky Way anyway.” He left. Tipped well though. Aliens are apparently great tippers, which kinda tracks, they’ve got nothing to spend their currency on here.
58. Send this to someone with no context
wanna hear something? i think the aliens are already here and they’re running every fast food drive-thru that somehow gets your order wrong in a way that’s ALMOST right 🛸🍔
59.
Why don’t aliens use bookmarks? They prefer to read at warp speed.
60. The closer
What did the alien say when he finally landed on Earth?
“Well, it’s about time, and space.”
I’ve been staring at a screen writing alien puns for four hours and I genuinely can’t tell if any of these are funny anymore. The word “alien” has lost all meaning. It’s just shapes now. Gonna go lie down and think about the void, which, come to think of it, is just space without the puns.